Kim Jong Un’s nuclear-capable warship face-planted into the ocean during its launch ceremony, leaving the dictator so furious he’s threatening to arrest everyone involved for this “unpardonable criminal act.”
At a Glance
- North Korea’s 5,000-ton destroyer became unbalanced and tipped over during its launch ceremony with Kim Jong Un watching
- Authorities tried covering the embarrassing failure with blue tarps, but satellite images revealed the vessel lying on its side
- Kim has ordered arrests of military officials, scientists, and shipyard operators, blaming “carelessness and irresponsibility”
- Experts believe the damage is catastrophic, including likely engine room flooding and hull breaches
- The failure raises serious questions about North Korea’s military capabilities, despite their nuclear arsenal
Another Brilliant Day in the Workers’ Paradise
Just when you thought the hermit kingdom couldn’t get more incompetent, North Korea manages to outdo itself. In what was supposed to be a grand display of naval might, North Korea’s shiny new 5,000-ton destroyer decided it preferred life as a submarine during its ceremonial launch at the Chongjin shipyard in May 2025. The vessel dramatically lost balance, tipped over, and became partially submerged – all while the Supreme Leader stood watching, no doubt contemplating which officials would soon be meeting his anti-aircraft guns.
The regime immediately deployed their sophisticated military technology – blue tarps – to hide the disaster from prying satellite eyes. Predictably, this cutting-edge concealment strategy failed spectacularly, with images clearly showing the vessel lying pathetically on its side. North Korean state media described the damage as “scratches” with “some seawater ingress,” which is like saying the Titanic experienced “minor ice contact” and “some moisture issues.”
Supreme Tantrums and Scapegoats
Kim Jong Un, not exactly known for his measured responses to failure, reportedly went ballistic – and not in the missile-testing way he usually prefers. According to reports, he’s ordered mass arrests of everyone who might have been remotely connected to the launch failure. Military officials, scientists, and shipyard operators are all facing questioning and potential imprisonment for what Kim called a “serious accident and criminal act caused by absolute carelessness, irresponsibility and unscientific empiricism.”
“No matter how good the state of the warship is, the fact that the accident is an unpardonable criminal act remains unchanged, and those responsible for it can never evade their responsibility for the crime” – North’s Central Military Commission
In a stunning display of dictatorial delusion, Kim has also demanded that the destroyer be fully restored within a month. Because nothing says “sound engineering practices” like rushing massive structural repairs to a capsized warship under threat of execution. South Korean analysts believe the damage is catastrophic, with likely engine room flooding and multiple hull breaches – issues that would take competent shipyards many months to repair properly.
The Rare Admission of Failure
Perhaps the most shocking aspect of this fiasco is that North Korea’s state-run propaganda machine, the Korea Central News Agency (KCNA), actually acknowledged the failure. When your disaster is so massive that even your own Ministry of Truth can’t spin it, you know you’ve reached a new level of incompetence. The admission speaks volumes about just how catastrophically embarrassing this incident was, likely occurring in front of a large crowd of military officials and party loyalists.
“While KCNA described the damage as ‘not serious,’ it also called what happened ‘an unpardonable criminal act.'” – KCNA
South Korean officials suggest the failure occurred because North Korean workers lacked experience with launching such a large vessel. The 5,000-ton warship – reportedly similar to their Choe Hyon destroyer and allegedly built with Russian assistance – is significantly heavier than anything they’ve successfully launched before. Technical experts point to a transport cradle detaching early during the launch ceremony, which is naval engineering speak for “they completely botched it.”
What This Means For National Security
While we can enjoy a good laugh at the expense of a brutal dictator, this incident raises serious questions about North Korea’s military capabilities. If they can’t successfully launch a ship without it tipping over, how reliable are their nuclear weapons? The country reportedly possesses approximately 50 nuclear warheads and continues to develop more. This destroyer was allegedly designed to carry nuclear-capable missiles, part of Kim’s strategy to modernize his naval forces.
“It’s a shameful thing, but the reason why North Korea disclosed the incident is it wants to show it’s speeding up the modernization of its navy forces and expresses its confidence that it can eventually build” – Moon Keun-sik
In typical North Korean fashion, they responded to the embarrassment by immediately firing multiple cruise missiles from near Sondok – the geopolitical equivalent of a child throwing a tantrum after falling off their bike. Because nothing says “we’re still a serious military threat” like demonstrating you can’t successfully put a boat in water. Perhaps we should be less worried about North Korea’s nuclear arsenal and more concerned about their apparent inability to grasp basic physics. Then again, incompetence paired with nuclear weapons creates its own terrifying kind of danger.
